Much has happened in the past months that I haven’t had chance nor reason to make a post; my father passed away, I almost quit my job–I got promoted ‘cus I wanted to quit my job, and I reunited with my only Ex-boyfriend. All these things happened in a snap of a finger that it’s only now that I muttered up the confidence to take a step back and give my life a panoramic point of view. I suddenly felt tired, tired of drowning in this unfamiliar sorrow and immense grief.
My muffled sorrow has left me to take whatever I can to fill the void that my beloved father has left; attention and love. These are supposed to be helping me, yes? But the inner voice can’t help but ask, “Is this what you believe you truly deserve?”
I stuffed myself with weekend activities that it has become a task to my partner. I was too afraid of the idea that I’ll have an idle time. I had to nag him to be with me that I sounded like my old, immature self. I kept making him do things to please me. I was hurting him. So, I had to make a stand and fight the evil me. Just this weekend, I literally sprinted to his event to surprise him. I know I haven’t been supportive of his endeavors because I always tell him how much he’s unappreciative of me. A thousand hugs and kisses later, he forgave me. It’s the first time in 10 years that I’ve known him that I’ve finally done something FOR HIM. First time…
Today, I realized that it’s actually ME who’s unappreciative of myself. I’ve been ungrateful for I have been so focused on what I DON’T HAVE, that I hurt the people that I have in my life now. I have been working so hard to get everything that I want. And because of that I, now feel so tired. All along I thought that it’s the right way to love myself. All these has done to me is BECOME SELFISH. There’s no uglier feeling than this.
I would like to share this simple exercise that I did today. It’s by Jim Koehneke from his book, Take Charge of Your Life!“Take Charge of Your Life! – Seven Steps for Reclaiming Your Personal Power.” Through it, I got to the root cause of this selfishness…the ugly feeling of UNWORTHINESS has left me to become greedy and not be grateful of all the blessings that my late father has been praying for me.
After taking a moment, I’ve decided to take a more conscious effort to not depend my happiness and feeling of SELF WORTH on other people but ME.
If you also want to focus on self worth, please do yourself a favor and HUG yourself today. Find time to affirm yourself, you don’t need another person to do this for you. Love yourself the right way.
The past week was nothing but excruciating for me since I had to wake up at 5AM for work, prepare a light breakfast and travel from one city to another for big client dry runs and demos. I found myself waking up at 4:59AM on a Saturday and berated myself for a few minutes while lying in bed for not being able to get back to sleep. I’m sure that the other anemic folks can relate.
It’s not that I hate waking up in the morning. I actually love having a savory breakfast and a freshly brewed cup of coffee. It’s just that for the past 5 years, my body just got used to staying up late for work. The past week then was a blessing for me as I slowly adjusted to a new, exciting routine. I took this opportunity then, to make a more conscious effort and become a morning person.
“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”, the core philosophy of the book, The Alchemist by renowned author, Paolo Coelho, was my realization as I came across two inspiring materials this weekend. Both pushed me towards my decision and goal of becoming a morning person. I get amused every time I realize that these coincidences strongly relate to what I want to happen to my life. All it takes for me to do is again, decide.
Here’s the first inspiration I came across with. I’ve been checking out Matthew Hussey‘s YouTube posts for some time now as he doesn’t sugar coat his tips.
“One day you’ll be dead,” appealed the most to my morbid alter ego. I remember one of my students telling me, “I sometimes don’t want to sleep. I want to stay awake as much as possible and do as many things like, doing yoga at 3 in the morning.” Come to think of it, if you were to compare all the things done by an early riser with a person who sleeps for long hours, the former would absolutely outdo the latter.
The other inspiration, I read from Philippine Star‘s Sunday article by Celine Lopez. She too is transitioning to waking up earlier. I too feel that when I stay up late, I tend to wander and drift a lot. I would usually catch myself deep in my thoughts. This though isn’t totally a no-no, but if you end-up like good ol’ Walter Mitty, you’ll end up just dreaming and not accomplishing anything.
Here’s a cup of coffee and a humble breakfast I made yesterday morning, at 5am. I’d like to share it with everybody who have decided to take the road that early birds and morning persons walk on. It might be a struggle at first but I wish us to take heart and have a more vivacious personality and contagious energy, as we get a step closer to enjoying early morning routines.
Whoa! It took me more than 7 days to post a follow-up report on my progress. One reason must be denial. Denial of the fact that I gained 2 pounds! Despite that though, I got to wear a skirt to work again without my belly sticking out like my boobs! Get the picture?
I had 2 cheat days but at least still didn’t have rice for 7 straight days. I was consciously checking on my portion intake and made sure that I didn’t have any soda!
As for my exercise routines, I’m proud to say that I worked out for 7 straight days, everyday! Shuffling the routines made my workout sessions more exciting. That just did the trick.
Here are the routines that I do, since I’m a beginner and my flexibility just sucks big time. I’m also used to less graceful sports like basketball and badminton. So, I guess these routines are just appropriate for a newbie like me.
I start off with Weight Loss Yoga for Beginners. This really warms my muscle up and helps me stretch better.
Then I try ‘fixing’ my uber tight hamstrings with Yoga for Runners. This also increases my stamina as I run. And yes, I use books to help me stay in the pose.
When I wake up early, or again leave my bed early in the morning I try to jog for 10 minutes before I hit work.
Speaking of waking up early, I have got to catch some zzz’s now as I do want to enjoy a morning jog.
Check out my vid workout recommendations! Good luck!
I haven’t been going to church for months now and I have been feeling guilty inside. Today, I had the desire to go to church. Nice.
The priest’s homily was about making a decision. Yes, it is highly relevant to whatever I’m going through. This always happens to me though; every time I’m desperate for answers, He lets me hear it.
The priest spoke in bullets and I like it that way since I was able to absorb it better and only dozed off three of four times. He talked about just two things that are highly important in making a decision. I believe that God spoke to me today and I think it’s just right to share the Good News to you.
1. Gather information. Make sure that you’re well aware of the consequences of your decision. Know everything there is to know and you’ll find yourself confidently making a decision.
2. Know your values. “A man without character is like a ship without a rudder. ” If you know yourself well and the things in life you value the most then you’d always find it easy to make a decision.
I guess it’s the first time in my 31 years of life that I’ve finally come to comprehend that line. I’ve always thought of myself as an assertive, confident person who..blah, blah, blah. That was a superficial, generic way of describing myself. What’s been surprising me everyday since I started writing this blog is: Oh SH*T! I don’t know a thing about myself! It is scary believe me…you should be scared too if you’re travelling in the same road as I am. This though is the first step to self realization: acceptance–acceptance of the fact that there’s something that needs to be done. In my case, know myself more.
So, are you about to make a major decision? I’ll leave you with this question that we were asked today and hopefully make you ponder a bit more:
“Which would you rather choose: making a wrong decision, or not making a decision at all?”
Have a blessed week ahead!
I am so dedicating this song to myself. I worked 12 hours a day for the past three days; out on the road for a minimum of 3 hours working from one city to another; and accidentally starved myself in the process. Me and my team have been preparing for a big demo that could bring in big revenue for my company.
Don’t get me wrong though. I’ve always liked the adrenalin rush I get whenever I’m bending over backwards meeting deadlines and conceptualizing fantastic ideas for the company and for my team. I’m a bit of a praise junkie too, so you don’t imagine how good I feel accomplishing my tasks at work and getting some thumbs up from my superiors.
It’s the first time in my career that I’ve played as the lone SME (Subject Matter Expert) in my team. It is indeed a privilege. On days though when my hormones seem to wreck havoc among humanity, stress, pressure and my high self expectations get the best of me.
From here on though, I’d like to make a more conscious effort to be nice to everybody while claiming that hard earned cash. *whew* But most importantly deal with the stress or gust of anxiety in the middle of battle that is the workplace.
What can one do then on bad days when road rage gets in the way of one’s 8-hour or for some 12-hour work shift?
1. Drink lots of water. H2o refreshes your senses and therefore helps you think straight.
2. Long blink. In my case, staring at my screen for prolonged hours make me lose my focus. So give your pretty peepers a rest and you’ll definitely revive your concentration.
3. Stare at the ceiling. Haha! This really works for me, believe it or not. I usually start staring at the wall in front of me, then lift my gaze a little higher; sort of 45 degrees, and then end up letting my head lie on the headrest and then…
4. …Breathe deep. Just lay there and breathe deep, and focus thinking of your breathing. This is one of the basics by the way of meditation.
You can stand and play with your post-its after, but for me steps 1-4 already usually does the trick.
I won’t deny the fact though when I’d sometimes ‘release the Kraken’ and just spit out fire at others’ incompetence. Inclination to doing this though is not going to make you happy, believe me. Tantrums at work will just make you feel doubly guilty and of course ugly deep inside.
Baby steps towards professional maturity is indeed going to make working hard for the money more fulfilling, healthy and stress free.
“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail,” is an adage most beloved by managers or those who play a big responsibility whether it be in their respective companies, relationships or in the families. This was what I was thinking the whole time while scouring dozens of magazines for pictures that I’ll include in my vision board.
So, is there yet again a right way to make a vision board? I’d say yes, there is a procedure and you can reference to my previous post on How to Create an Inspiration Vision Board for tips and suggestions. You can also always Google for how different folks prefer to create their vision boards.
What I’ll share with you though is the process that I went through to create my Vision Board_V2. Here’s the process flow…nah I’m just kidding! Haha!
Here you go:
2. Prep your art materials. Hey, I taught Art with my preschool students back in the day so I’m used to cutting, pasting and drawing squiggly lines…mainly because I can’t draw a straight line.
I chose a theme for this whole project. In my case I chose CHIC as it represents my personality and I just definitely love bling. I also used some tiny feather boa and glittered rubber mats as boarders, plus a brown folder and cork board to stick my pictures to.
3. Categorize. I asked myself which parts of my life are most important to me. I came up with four categories in my life that I’m so eager to visualize: self, love, career and money.
4. Get into the zone. I then scanned through all my magazines. ALL 24 of them. My criteria for choosing the photos are:
a. Relevant to any of the four categories
b. Photo must be powerful to strike me either emotionally or visually.
This stage was the longest to make since I either ended up reading the articles or staring at the topless men in Cosmo. Hahaha! (I swear I just stared! I didn’t daydream! o.O)
5. Cut-paste. I sectioned the brown folder into my categories, then cut-pasted the photos that go with it. The challenge for me was making sure that all fit in the tiny space. I also made sure that there’s some sort of thought pattern, interpreted by the order of photos. See how the ‘Be fearless’ caption is placed strategically on top of the boxing gloves?
6. Prettify it! After all photos are pasted on the brown folder, I then stuck it to my cork board and made sure that there’s space for the boa and glittery boarder. In my case, I decided to leave a marginal space for some of my ‘to do’s’ which is one of the things that I love to make.
You can prettify your vision board as much as you want just as long that you stick to your chosen theme. Remember that you’re envisioning yourself X number of years from now. you don’t want to see clutter there.
7. Choose The Wall. And voila! You got yourself your very own vision board. YOU MUST post your vision board on a wall which you could see first thing you wake up in the morning. This is to make sure that you remind yourself everyday of the direction that you so willingly chose to go to.
Well girls, it’s your turn now to put your crafty mittens on and make your own vision board. Just make sure to remember, that the tangible representation of our goals, that is the Vision Board, is a sort of potential energy waiting to be released. One must be determined to muster taking a step towards meeting, and don’t forget enjoying one’s realized goals.
Why 7 days? I say, why not? I’ve tried psyching myself to take on X-day challenges and I just end up forgetting to overcome the training that I started to put myself into. Since the peg these days is meeting goals, might as well meet and pose realistic goals.
I started my day pretty early than usual. The time I wake-up though usually doesn’t matter to me since I can wake-up as early as 6AM but leave the bed an hour later. Yes, I’m that lazy.
So, I guess I’ll just tell you what time I left my comfy bed? I STOOD up at around 7 am and strutted my way to the nearby empty parking lot. At last, I finally got to wear the running shorts I bought two months ago!
The breeze was real cool! Ohh I loved how the wind felt between my fingers! I smelled the familiar Christmas breeze. There were also more joggers than usual because it’s still a holiday today. And oh, I think I should mention that I probably dodged a dozen dog poop throughout my jog and walk. The village officers need to do something about the stray dogs.
There were more Dual Citizens (60 y/o above) today too! Go lola and lolo! Go!
After the jog, I dropped by the only decent gym in my village and asked about boxing! I have yet to get my gloves and hand wrap. I’ll do that real soon.
I also went to the first EVAH yoga studio in my village. Too bad the kuya I talked to to ask about the class skeds wasn’t too helpful since he seemed like he doesn’t know what I was talking about. I’ll just go there again tomorrow since YES, it’s still a holiday tomorrow. Woohoo!
Later in the afternoon, I took my stats and…yes, numbers don’t lie. I reckon this is how cute I was before leaving my first teaching gig.
weight: 150 lbs
waist: 35.5 in
right arm width: 13.5 in
Jogging: 15 minutes
Brisk walking: 20 minutes
I had a light lunch and dessert. I’ll slowly cut on my portions and get back to my fish diet that I already once got accustomed to.
I’m just so excited since I’ve never been so determined to get back in shape again. I bet the serotonin’s still kicking in. I will scrub the bathroom floor, yes!
I have just read a Sunday column from a local newspaper about some socialites’ bucket lists. I can’t count the numerous times that I’ve created one myself. It wasn’t as effective for me though since I never once did any of things that I listed. *tiheehee*
I’m now going to try the alternative towards realizing my life’s goals: THE VISION BOARD. So how powerful and effective is a vision board and is there really a right method of doing it?
Two years ago, I already made a vision board. Mainly because I was inspired by my brother who had one himself, and there were a bunch of things posted on his Styropore that have indeed become a reality. In my own vision board though, there were two things that almost sort of came true. Knowing myself, who’s ever so hard headed and rebellious, I actually inhibited these ‘visions’ to become a reality. (yeah, I know T_T) Well, at least I know I’m close. I know I’m almost THERE.
So, do I choose a single method to get results? I figured, why not do both so there’s a check and balance on consistency and assurance that I’m not fantasizing and is still hooked on reality.
Here’s how the dzygurl did it
STEP 1: BUCKET LIST
I’ve decided to make a list first. The list contains the answers to the question which inspired me to rebuild this blog. I may or may not add items to this list in the near future. Let me just tell you that I was so titillated while making this list, or is it yet again just my hormones?
2. Preside meetings, as … ahem The Manager, and astonish the audience with my tact and smarts.
3. Date eligible bachelors. P.E.R.I.O.D.
4. …while wearing a Herve Leger mini dress and sipping on a dry martini.
5. Compete in a boxing match.
6. Travel to new cities, beach getaways and countries with my hard-earned and well SAVED cash.
7. Start up a business.
8. Get married at 36.
STEP2: VISION BOARD
I am more than excited to make my second vision board since I’ve already listed down the things that I’d like to do before I die. Hmmm, that thought still makes me cringe since I do have some health issues that I’m dealing with.
Okay reeling back in to the topic:
Here’s a video I saw in youtube. I checked out tons of videos on “How to Make a Vision Board” but the speakers seemed a little weird and Children-of-the-corn-ISH. Hehe! I like her version the best; she’s young and relative to our times.
I’ll make a post as soon as I get my new vision board done, dzygurl21 style!
“What have you always wanted to do but for some unknown reason, never quite get around to doing?” I stumbled upon this question from the Cosmo Magazine back issue that I bought yesterday. It was a well spent P100 indeed since the question literally made me jump off my lazy a** and pick up my New York themed notebook to doodle my thoughts on self realization and finally…aspirations.
I’ve always had an excuse to not act on the things in my life that I’d like to achieve; age, time, finances or even weight are my usual scapegoats. “Excusitis,” as what others call it, had sucked me in a dark shell of ambiguity and indecisiveness. Deep inside I was scared of the fact that I was drifting into a life without a purpose, but at the same time I didn’t have the determination to pull myself out of the crevasse.
Today, a question gave me answers. I won’t even dare use the word ‘hopefully’ as I write about the conscious efforts that I’m going to make as I move closer to meeting my goals.
Today, I have made a decision to change my old ways and look at the challenges of the future squarely in the eye and say: I AM LIVING MY DREAM.
personal random ramblings from a girl who loves bacon and can't be fat.
Running, Travel, Foreign Service, Life
Poetry, Stories, Life, Mental Illness, Death, Divorce, Love, Hope, Pain, Journey, Honesty, Sex, Mystery, Horror, Art, Experience, Abuse, Addiction, Survival, Coping, Misery, How to love the dark.
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One woman's mission to lose the weight for good.
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"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." - Buddhist Aphorism
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solving the world's toughest puzzle: myself
solving the world's toughest puzzle: myself
solving the world's toughest puzzle: myself
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